1) contact info of a cute boy, and a very attractive yet ridiculously boring boy (as very attractive-on-the-outside men are wont to be), both of which I met in high school, neither of whom I will ever contact. 2) Contact info of my girl friends I met at Bible study years ago, who I am still contacting weekly (Ha, take that, cute boys!). 3) My maid of honor speech from Sarah's wedding from 2 years ago (which is actually a prayer and went really well, Praise God!). 4) Remants of a ripped page from the letter I wrote to my friend in the half-way house (I am grateful I can write to him with any paper and envelope now, as opposed to when he was in jail and they had uber strict guidelines). 5) Notes for my Bible study orientation so I wouldn't forget to tell the students something. 6) Notes on my first ever special needs ministry meeting. 7) Mom's knee replacement therapy notes. 8) Notes on what rooms have special needs kids at church (complete with names and diagrams). 9) Thoughts on the girls at May Blades Jennifer and I were judging for the artistry award (Congrats Amanda!). 10) And, all throughout, (and most important) my unofficial independent bible study notes.
I am not looking forward to reviewing all the lessons learned yet FORGOTTEN from my independent bible study.
As stated previously, the last lesson was especially good. In Revelation the man goes to bow before the angel, who is relating to him the future justice done to evil men. Of course the angel freaks out and cries: "Do not do it! I am a fellow servant with you and for you, and with the brothers who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God!" (19:10). Utilizing the 4 P's: Pore & Paraphrase, Pull-out, and Pose, that I learned from the aforementioned official co-dependent bible study, I started thinking of how I could be a faithful servant and instrument of God like the angel. And quickly saw my rather large sin.
That day I ran into a family acquaintance. I pretended to be more busy than I was, and did not fully engage in our conversation, only answering minimally about my therapy and physical progress. I did not like looking at this woman, because she never wore a bra.
It occurred to me even as I was avoiding her that she was a captive audience and I could easily share my faith as it came about in my trials, but did I? No. All because I could see boobies.
I am sure many Christians have gladly shared their faith with literal naked people in different cultures. All I could think of was "Doesn't she know her shirt is tight? Doesn't she know that's gross?" Well...didn't I know my attitude was gross?!!! The Lord wants all of us to come as we are!
Others feeling awkward at the physical differences in us is a huge deal. How shallow, I would think. How stupid. How unnecessary. How frustrating. How annoying. How scaredy-cat-like. How unrealistic.
I sometimes wish I could punch myself in the face. I am so glad I can confess my sins to the Lord, be forgiven, and make an effort to turn away. Yes true repentance is awesome. And we get it for free! Still, a good self-imposed punch in the face seems in order for this one.
(Don't you like how this post was going one way, then it suddenly veered to the left?)
Happy Canada Day.
