Emptiness vs Edification & Eternity

So the season finales are over. As a Christian, and a busy person, its time to ask if that TV show was worth it. Did I really need to give that 12-24 hours of my attention this year? Did it do anything for eternity? Anything for the world? Anything for my good? Maybe it was a wash. Maybe my brain needed a break to come back stronger. Now the flipside: did it do me or my character any bad?

Not that this is my attitude for everything. I still like junk food and lazy days and vacations. But I am getting better. I am growing up. I want to lay in bed that night, thinking of what I accomplished that day.

A few years back I wanted to be a screenwriter. I still may be some day, but...I'm not passionate enough to pursue it now. It seems an empty life, full of myself and not God or others, unless I did Christian movies. But movies take a while to create. I am an impatient little bugger. I want results now!

My new role is perfect. The ladies at church asked me to be the Special Needs coordinator for the children's ministries at church. Perhaps they asked me partly because of my disability. But nearly all the children are affected mentally, and much younger than I ever was with a disability. Still...I know how to problem-solve, and how to persevere in the midst of a condition that just refuses to cooperate with the ideal. I love it. And I love that I was made for it with my own struggles.

I feel full. The kids and parents will see God's love through us, and some will be impacted for eternity. I will learn...billions of things. This I can look back on and feel my life wasn't wasted.